A Doctor a day, keeps the Astrologer away.

After twenty years, I can finally claim to have truly become human in all senses. No longer am I a dumb animal who walks only on his two feet. I have completed the qualifications required for myself to be considered a normal human being. I am now intelligent, or as I prefer calling it; “Wise.”

No it’s not because I have completed any formal education, or because I have been meditating on top of Himalaya’s. In fact, it has been (to my considerable surprise), a fruit of no labor on my part (at least conscious one). In fact, I would have been fairly unaware of this feat if my Dentist would not have thrown light on it.

He gave me the good news yesterday when I visited him for a check up. As usual I was expecting some earth shattering news of grave concern, but was pleasantly surprised when he informed me about this accomplishment of mine instead. I almost felt like throwing a party then and there, but somehow managed to control my emotions. For some reason though, he chose a very somber demeanor during the whole thing.

“Soham, your Wisdom tooth is appearing.”

Can you believe it? The geezer almost stole the thunder away from my happiness. I was pretty much unfazed for a few minutes, since the creepy guy thought it would be funny to have a look like that of a guy declaring death sentence. But after few tense minutes of silence it hit me and I realized the implications of what he said. I actually thought he will burst out laughing and say, “Gotcha!”, but he did not. He stood there, his cheek puffed out as usual, his lips pouting disgustingly, and eyes drawing blank. That did puncture the bubble of euphoria swelling inside me.

I cleared my throat, “Erm… Is that wrong?” I should mention here that I am a proud fellow, and bestow a lot of confidence on, what I shall term as my potential.

He stood there looking at me as blankly as ever. “Its not unusual. But it’s painful. Sometimes.”

Now after hearing that statement I was pretty sure that poor chap had gone bananas. I felt a sudden surge of sympathy rushing in my heart at the thought of the kind of wistful life he leads. I almost wanted to go out and touch him lightly and say, ‘It’s ok, you know. It takes time. But I am sure it will be worth it.’ But I desisted. I perceived making him aware of his unintelligence will not go well with my bill. Meanwhile he started talking again.

“It will take a little time to observe the developments. The gums are swollen as of now, and we need to let them gain normalcy before proceeding to see the damage or its prospect.”

Hang on, am I missing something here? Gums? Damage! What is the old chap bickering about?

It was then he stowed a mirror in my hand and things started to fall in place for me. Unfortunately.

For all those innocent, deserving people who keep great faith in themselves, I must tell you this. As much as it breaks my heart to expose you to the truth, I must do this for your own safety. It was very hard for me to take the fall. I wish you are not shattered after hearing this.

Wisdom tooth has nothing to do with intelligence.

Sigh! For two glorious minutes, I had accelerated past all the levels of Maslows pyramid and attained my self actualization at one go. I was at top of the world, having consummated all my desires, since its intelligence we all seek. But no! I was wrong. I was not wise or intelligent anymore. In fact far from it. I was pretty much as dense as an obdurate ape who is unable to make distinction between a banana and a human penis.

This particular doctor had a real bad penchant for dramatics. I must tell you that this was not the first I was fooled by him. I have suffered twice before at the hands of the same chap, and that is not to count the other fellows who have duped me just on the basis of their MBBS. To be really frank, and this is really confidential matter, so do not tell anybody about it; but to be really honest, I have suspicion that like the Freemason’s and the Knights Templar, these doctors of the world have their own secret organization. I have often seen these people act suspiciously, and even have caught a few of them red handed in their secret mission to destroy the world order. Consider this: They have an undeniable upper hand in our lives, and for some reason, entire mankind is dependent on them. They walk with a swagger unmistakably that of a predator, live a posh luxurious life, and treat ‘normal’ humans with considerable distaste. I can even imagine their underground conventions, at which they secretly discuss their plans of a gradual destruction of worldly order, and establish the rule of knights in service of the MBBS. I even have doubts that MBBS is not a degree, but actually the code-word for the leader of Doctors worldwide. It is really a creepy thought I must say.

But keeping my fears at bay momentarily, I must say that I am extremely disappointed by the way things have shaped up. Not only have I lost my status of ‘wisdom’, but I also carry a pair of decaying teeth. Which could mean only one thing,

“We’ll fill it up. It will take a minor drilling of moderate pain,” he said smilingly, “Then it will all be over. After that, all you will have to do is to brush well.”

Yeah, thank you. I would like to put you to drilling once. Then we will see who smiles.

“Should I fix the appointment for Tuesday?”

I nodded meekly. Ho-Hum!